Why I Think Prayer Is Harmful

How is an atheist supposed to react when told someone will pray for him? Of course it depends on the context. I usually get told that by a pissed off stranger, so it's a little hard to feel the love. But what about when a real-life friend says they are praying for me?

Everybody likes to be thought about. It's a kind gesture. And it can't hurt, even if I don't believe it works, right?

Here's my problem with prayer. It makes you feel like you're doing something. In my experience, only about 5% of the people who have prayed for me during my homelessness have taken any other action. And those actions were awesome. I got a gas card once, a grocery card, one friend drove from another state to bring me a phone, heavy coat, and lots of snacks and supplies. One awesome friend gave me a small job at his house to help me earn a little cash. To say that these kinds of things are humbling is an enormous understatement. There really aren't words to say how much I appreciate them. If it's any consolation to these people, I will someday be in a better position to help others and pass their kindnesses along, just like I've done in the past.

I'll be fine. I'm always fine. Nobody owes me anything. But it's not just me. I suspect that when we pray for folks, for most of us it ends there. We can sleep a little better knowing that we've done something. But have we really "done" anything?

Prayers don't hurt anything UNLESS we allow ourselves to feel that we have taken some kind of action to help another.

Two hands in action accomplish more than a thousand clasped in prayer. People swear by prayer. Everybody knows somebody who was healed or had some great thing happen after they were prayed for. But the hard truth is that there has never been any evidence that prayer changes anything at all.

Some people get better. Some get worse and die. It's confirmation bias that makes us remember the happy endings. People dying after they were prayed over doesn't make the news. Stuff happens, to Christians and non-Christians alike. We say, when the outcome isn't what we hoped for, that God had some bigger plan in mind, something that we aren't privvy to. That makes sense. But then why pray?

I'm not going to try to talk anyone out of prayer. And I'm going to continue to say a heartfelt thank you to anyone who tells me they are praying for me. I'll be fine. But if you know of somebody else who is sick, or in a bind, or having some kind of struggle, do pray - do - but please don't stop there. If everyone who prayed also accompanied those prayers with action, can you imagine the difference we could make in the world?

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